This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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