dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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