Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize