i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
