playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
