I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
