Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
