I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize