This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
