There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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