My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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