WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize