Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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