omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I will be naked everywhere
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
