So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
