i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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