Define "chronic" masturbator.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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