I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
