You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Randomize
