She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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