We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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