He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
