I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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