Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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