So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
