all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
