its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
