There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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