i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
