the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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