He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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