bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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