yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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