I want to make a zoo with you.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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