shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
