That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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