I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
