In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
