Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize