I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
