bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize