Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
