I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
