I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize