weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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