She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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