look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
