When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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