My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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