It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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