Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
