This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
