I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
