k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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