If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
