VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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