can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
