he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
