Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Randomize
