therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Your dad touched me again.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
