I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
