No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
