Cold hands, warm shart.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Green mimosas i think yes
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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