So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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