fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
