Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
