You're completely useless in the revolution.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
