i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
