you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
