they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
third nipple confirmed
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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