Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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